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Ten
Comandments of Male Arousal
- Stroke his ego before you stroke his libido. And I don't mean ego
in the negative sense that's generally implied. I mean, praise his
positive qualities just as you like yours praised. Make him feel
good about who he is. Appreciate him often, and appreciate him like
you would nobody else;
- Just as you wouldn't want him to only stroke your favourite part,
give attention to all of his body parts, not just his penis. This is
particularly true of his scrotum (balls), perineum (area between
balls and anus), anus, nipples, and much more;
- Although male skin is thicker than female skin and thereby
requires greater pressure for stimulation, do not be too rough with
his penis. Men appreciate as much pressure as a good handshake –
not too strong, not too limp;
- Men like a quick rush into arousal. But when you're actually in
the throes of the act, break the fast and furious myth. The longer
you prolong it, bringing him to the edge but not quite letting him
spill over (no pun intended), the stronger his orgasm will be. In
other words, the longer the action, the stronger the reaction.
[Hint: The rise of his testicles should tell you when he's getting
close];
- Fantasies are just as popular with men as they are with women –
only with men they are more about explicit/graphic acts and strong
visuals versus entire scenarios. So if you're going to indulge him
with fantasies, do it his way, not yours. Respecting his
goal-oriented nature, take him there as directly as you can;
- An often unrecognized yet extremely sensitive spot on a man's body
is his prostate, indulged only by anal stimulation (or indirectly
through perineum stimulation). Get comfortable as a couple in
stimulating him there (manually or with specific toys), without
reading anything into it. Being a highly sensitive zone (with
numerous nerve endings) and being stimulated by a different nerve,
ignoring it would be like ignoring the hidden parts of your
genitals. The nerve which excites this area (pudendal) is different
from the one which works on his penis (pelvic). The pudendal nerve
is far more sensitive than the pelvic nerve since it has a greater
number of sensory fibres. To give you a reference point, in women it
is the pudendal nerve which enervates the clitoris and the G-Spot,
and the pelvic nerve which enervates the vagina;
- A lot of people get turned off certain acts due to the
cleanliness/smell/taste factor. Take a shower or a bath together
instead of avoiding the pleasurable act. Should that not work (since
a lot of tastes and smells have a lot to do with diet, exercise,
degree of hydration, etc.), get a little kinky and drizzle corn
syrup on the body part in question, to add a new flavour and smell.
Better yet, get him to cover the areas he most wants licked, giving
you a pleasure map to work with. (This isn't any different from
using deodorant or cologne to counteract other body smells);
- If he asks you to try something new, feel good about the fact that
he is asking you, since you are an important part of it. If you are
not game for the idea he opened up with you about, make it clear
that it's the idea that you are uncomfortable with, not him. And
then, search within yourself for reasons why you are uncomfortable.
It may be your problem, not his. For example, convincing yourself
that he wants you to dress/act like a hooker is a lame excuse. The
truth is, professionals do that because men like it. Learn something
from them and be at least as sensitive to his needs – but only
after you change your attitude. If you don't, it will show, and not
feel very good for either one of you. Nothing about sex should feel
unpleasant to you. Beyond that, be as unselfish as you can.
Indulging a lover with what feels good for them is the most loving
act you can perform;
- Oral sex is one of the most pleasurable things for men (just as it
is for women), since the mouth has greater control and flexibility
than just about any other body part. Furthermore, putting the mouth
close to phermonal intensity makes instinctual sense – hence
animals sniff and lick the genitals to check for arousal. Learn to
get good at it. Lick the underside of the penile head, do curvy
moves with your tongue as it travels up and down the shaft, create
strong suction with your lips, move your head from side to side, all
the while covering your teeth. Maintain a rhythm, gain speed as you
go along, and never stop the movement. Let your free hands stroke
his balls and perineum, apply anal pressure, or do whatever else has
him moaning;
- Sex has two parts to it: The physical and the mental. At a
physical level it is the most pleasurable thing possible, hence
procreation depends upon it. Ditch any negative feelings toward what
feels good and enjoy it like it was meant to be enjoyed. At a mental
level we can make it far more interesting than a mere physical
touch. Engage your mind in making it as unlimited as imagination and
you'll be able to connect oh-so-exquisitely and completely.
Whatever you do, make it special and know that what you do for each
other (both in and out of bed) is at least as important as who you are.
Rebecca
Rosenblat (aka Dr. Date), sex therapist/advice columnist/published
author is Toronto's hottest offering to the relationship and sexuality
scene. Known for her to-the-point teaching and entertaining delivery,
Rebecca gives her audiences what they crave, through her books,
seminars, interviews, and advice columns. https://www.DrDating.com
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